Church Fellowship: The Cheers Factor

I am having a weird 24 hours.

Yesterday, for an hour mid-afternoon, I attended the 50th anniversary of my high school.   It was a large school and 50 years is a long time, so the traffic a mess as was the parking.    I brought along my trophy wife with the intention of showing her off, but she couldn’t handle the crowds or the heat.   (With 50 years of anecdotal history, the janitors still cannot anticipate the weather, and the HVAC system was pumping out record amounts of unnecessary warmth.)

I guess the shocker of the day was that everybody seemed genuinely glad to see me.   At least that was my impression.   Maybe time heals all wounds, though I couldn’t actually think of any wounds that needed healing.

Looking back, I think what was striking me was the contrast between this and the reaction I often get at some churches.   There seems to be an awkward feeling waiting to be experienced when you enter certain houses of worship.

I’m not alone in this.  My wife and I have compared notes.  I’ve also heard it from others, including the couple that simply stood against a wall during one church’s protracted fellowship and coffee time in the lobby, just to see if anyone would speak to them.   Nobody did.

Maybe our ideals are too… well… idealistic.   Perhaps they’ve been shaped by a mis-reading of the New Testament that left us with the warped impression that the church should consist of brothers and sisters who demonstrate their desire to follow Christ by a love for each other.   John’s gospel and epistles are notable for spreading that particular suggestion.

Or perhaps it is because some people who come to church also go to bars, and recognize that there is more genuine fellowship in the average pub than there is in many of our churches.

I blame Cheers.  Or more accurately, its theme song:

Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
And they’re always glad you came;
You want to be where you can see,
Our troubles are all the same;
You want to be where everybody knows your name.

Those words are, like, scripture to me.   It’s a picture of the Body of Christ in its ideal and intended form.   A place of welcome, commonality, and, though not explicit in the lyrics, grace.

That’s the what of Cheers, the first verse is actually the why of Cheers:

Making your way in the world today
Takes everything you’ve got;
Taking a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot.
Wouldn’t you like to get away?

Sadly, the rest of the lyrics, aren’t quite so inspirational.  (See the comments section.)

Still it’s good to feel wanted.   Someone once said that “home is the place that, when you go there, they have to take you in.”   Church should be like a home.   Someone else said, “You can pick your friends, but you can’t choose your family.”  Church should be like a family, where acceptance isn’t dependent on personal preferences.

Today I experienced some of that family and home feeling.   I know some of you are too jaded to make the effort.   I would urge you to keep trying.

And here’s some additional wisdom:  If you’re doing Sunday morning church but not journeying with some people in a small group; may I suggest that you not do the mega (or large) church thing.  Seriously.   If mid-week, house-based groups are an impossibility right now, keep your Sunday thing small and manageable with people you can get to know.

It may not have a superstar preacher or a studio-quality worship band, but hopefully you’ll get closer to authentic relationships with fellow pilgrims.