Thinking Out Loud

April 11, 2011

“Christian” Dancing — How Far is Too Far?

“On the Sundays where we do the Pole Fitness for Jesus we do the upbeat contemporary Christian music… people have to bring their church program to get in, so we’re basically just continuing the whole worship thing.”

~Crystal Deans, Christian pole dancing instructor

Christian pole dancing.

Seriously.

I was going to embed the video, but couldn’t bring myself to do that.  You’ll have to click over to Ragamuffin Soul to watch the 2-minute news clip.  I’ll wait right here for you to click back…

…Okay, where were we?

So let’s review our possible responses here:

  1. The arts, in their pure form, are morally neutral.  Like a blank piece of paper, any sense of “rightness” or “wrongness” that might be ascribed to a work of art relates to what the artist is doing, not the form itself.
  2. The issue isn’t moral neutrality, but one of legalism versus license.  All things may not be edifying, or even the best stewardship of your time, but they are fundamentally permissible since we’re under grace, not law.
  3. Certain art forms are not morally neutral, but are tainted.  This was the argument used against the early adopters of contemporary Christian music; the evil was in the beat, intrinsic to the rhythm.  The response of tribes in Africa — the famous, “Why are you calling up the spirits?” line — proves it.
  4. Certain forms are simply guilty by association.  You may think you’re playing an innocent game of “Crazy Eights” with your kids, but you’re acquainting them with a playing card deck that is used for gambling and has historical anti-Christian roots.  You should want to abstain from even the appearance of evil.
  5. None of the above.  This is simply a really, really bad idea.  Like a certain gift company in Seymour, Indiana that buys up picture frames in the general gift market and then tosses a Bible verse inside — one that actually disappears when you use them to frame a picture — this just cheapens the word “Christian,” which was never meant to be an adjective in the first place.

So there you have it.

I would write more on this subject, but I’m late for my Christian nudists meeting, which I have to wrap up by supper so I can meet tonight with my Christian pyramid sales group.

Ooops!  Did I say that last one out loud?

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