A guest post by Jim Forde
We first met Jim Forde at Resonate-Greenhouse, a small group for people involved in doing church planting that met every four or five weeks in a city equidistant from some of the participants. This first appeared a few days ago as a string of Tweets (you can follow Jim at @TheJamesForde) and he reformatted it for us to share with you here.
I have watched over the past few weeks as the “Christian” internet has been stirred deeply with a topic that I have been touched by closely. It has moved me and left me unsettled. I wrote about it on twitter and felt i would Storify it to help condense the story.
I once sat on the edge of a hospital bed; in it was my unconscious pregnant wife. Her blood pressure was steadily dropping, the heart rate of the child inside her was inconsistent at best, disconcerting at worst. This life that was growing inside of her, was killing her.
I had taken her into the hospital several times already due to pregnancy related nausea it was usually a matter of an IV and a small dose of Diclectin and she was good to go. This time something was different. She had been vomiting around 25-30 times a day and now small pieces of her stomach and throat were coming up.
It was late in the evening when I took her in and we spent all night there. The morning came and a new doctor came on rounds. I expressed to him that she didn’t seem to be bouncing back and that I was worried she would be discharged without being helped. He looked her over and within minutes things became intense. They did blood work and looked over her chart from the night and the doctor began calling for the nurse. He gave her a series of instructions and told her to get an ambulance on standby.
He gently took my arm and asked me to come talk with him. We stood off to the side and he looked me in the eye and frankly asked.
“Mr. Forde we have one last thing we can try, if that doesn’t work you will have to choose” I just looked at him blankly, no sleep and the stress of the situation (being that it was now the day of our first anniversary didn’t help) had me standing there with no ability to think or speak.
“You see, your baby is killing your wife. If this next drug doesn’t work you will have to pick between losing the baby. Or losing your wife and baby.
“Mr. Forde, we will know very quickly if this will not work, so this is a decision that will have to be made very quickly.”
There was no opportunity to sit and talk with Leah about this, no time to find out what her choice would be. This was on me, and I had to decide fast.
I made my decision and sat on a chair crying. If these drugs didn’t work the doctor was to do anything he could to save my wife. I knew what that meant. It was an excruciating decision, probably the hardest I have ever had to make…
The Planned Parenthood discussion hit me in a different way.
If my baby’s life was going to end, wouldn’t it be better for some good to come of it? As someone with a hereditary degenerative heart condition any opportunity the medical world has to study and learn from the human body advances us forward. If the organs of that precious child could be used to help change medical science why would I be against that?
I am a big believer in second chances, and in redemption. If a life has to end, that is tragic; if that body can be used to help others I am all for that.