Thinking Out Loud

June 19, 2017

Two by Two, Door to Door

Filed under: Christianity — Tags: , , , , , — paulthinkingoutloud @ 9:42 am

Winston was deep into a dream about a summer camp he attended as a child, when he was awakened by the doorbell. The alarm clock said exactly 9:00 AM. He grabbed his dressing gown and thought the camp might be fun to track down when he retired in five months.

Looking through the security peephole on the door he saw a nicely dressed young man and woman. He grunted but decided to be partially polite.

“You know, Saturday and Sunday are my only days to sleep in and Saturday didn’t work out well. “

“We’re sorry,” said the woman, “We’re — “

“I know, Mormons.”

The young man took over at this point. “No actually we’re — “

“Jehovah’s Witnesses?”

“No we’re not from any — “

“You can’t be Baptists; it’s Sunday, they’re all in church.”

“No, we’re heathens.”

Winston blinked and just stared at them without comment.

The young woman took over again, “No we figured if all those groups could go door-to-door we could as well. Have you ever considered the possibility of living guilt free?”

“You don’t have rules?”


“You don’t have sin?”


“How often do you meet?”

“We don’t.”

“How do I join?”

“There isn’t really anything to join, although there are groups of pagans that are similar in some ways who do some things together. You just have to decide you’re all in.”

“Okay;” Winston worked really hard to formulate this question as he was still a bit sleeppy; “The thing I don’t get is, you come here and knock on my door at the ungodly hour of 9:00 AM on a Sunday — hope you caught the ungodly thing, I did that just for you — and you’re inviting me to join something completely unorganized; so what’s in it for you?”

“Well,” said the young man, “We –“

“Are you getting paid?”


“Is this for some hidden camera thing on YouTube?”

“No, it’s — “

“Do you get personal satisfaction out of getting people to declare themselves disconnected from any form of religion?”

“Well, it’s more like — “

“I want to hear this. I’ve lived in the same house for 45 years. Nobody like you ever came to the door before. I want to know why heathens are suddenly evangelizing.”

to be continued … perhaps




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