I have this thing in common with the robot in the movie Short Circuit, the one who kept repeating, “Number 5 is alive.” I need input. So when it’s worship time, I do my best to enter into the spirit of the song, but I’m also highly distracted by the mandatory copyright notices which appear on the bottom of the screen along with the names of the writers of the words and music and the church’s CCLI number. I have to read them. For those not familiar, it usually looks like this:
I’ve highlighted the credits in question. (Thanks, Renewing Worship.)
So as we were sitting in church on Sunday, I started thinking what a disgruntled worship leader could do in this space (not the song in the example) given the opportunity. Such as:
- I really don’t like this song, but a significant contributor to the church budget specifically asked for it.
- If you think about it really carefully, the second verse is doctrinally heretical.
- The rhythm guitarist is the pastor’s nephew, we knew he couldn’t play that solo.
- Coordinating song selection and worship personnel for all three campuses takes about 25 hours a week and I’m getting less than minimum wage.*
* Remember, the print is really small, you can squeeze a lot in there.
Problem is, over time people would start seeing these and start looking for them. It would start with a middle-aged guy nudging his wife and pointing to the screen, but then some teenager would look up to see what he was referring to, and next thing you know people are busting a gut in the middle of Revelation Song. You simply can’t have that.
No, you’ve probably got one or two shots at this at best, so you want to make them count, possibly relaying important information that might not otherwise get known. Stuff like:
- The Associate Pastor is embezzling funds from the Seniors Group account.
- Because of a mold problem, the church kitchen failed its last health inspection.
- The Junior High Pastor is a Universalist.
- The church missed last month’s mortgage payment.
But it would greatly improve communications in the church. No secrets = ministry transparency. That’s what I always say.
Help, I’m Up Here | words and music by Paul and Ruth Wilkinson | © 2016 Thinking Out Loud Publishing | CCLI #8675309