Digital Hoarding in the 21st Century

More than two decades ago I was a somewhat wandering youth speaker. Usually I spoke about music and music-related cultural issues. But once in awhile I hauled out a talk about how materialism is a type of surrogate religion for many people; how we draw strength in what we own, what we possess. I spoke about how most of us are driven by our passions, our positions and our possessions.  (Unrelated information: I am still available for bookings for your youth group.) (Trying too hard: Or speak to your seniors group, I’m no longer picky.)

Then I would quote a statistic that was relevant at the time that one of the biggest growth industries for small business was personal storage lockers. Comedian George Carlin was doing a routine called “A Place for my Stuff.” People whose basements and garages were full of stuff were looking for places to store more stuff, and the places began popping up anywhere an entrepreneur could find available real estate.  (Full disclaimer: We have been paying for storage for the last couple of years for some of my parents’ furnishings, and have essentially paid out more than any of their stuff is worth.) (Further disclaimer: The word couple was used loosely in the preceding sentence.)

I am not a total pack rat — in the sense that I know other people who are worse — but I have avoided watching the TV show Hoarders, just in case any of it resonates too greatly. You know… like people who avoid going to church in case they should fall under conviction. (Possible connection: People who pretend to be sick on the final night of church camp lest they be struck by an overwhelming desire to confess to something.) (Actual fact: Some of us enjoyed campfire night solely because people confessed to things.) (However: No amount of singing the guitar version of ‘Just as I Am’ would get my friend Wayne to confess he kissed Dawn outside the girls’ cabins.) (Significance of previous sentence: I had a huge crush on Dawn. We all did.)

In the digital world, my greatest transgressions on my computer involve email.  Over 11,000 currently in each of two folders.  And six major folders total.  I try to delete in groups by sender. On a good night, I might get rid of a hundred that are completely unnecessary, but it’s such a small drop in the bucket. (Metaphor technicality: It would actually constitute removing a drop in the bucket.)

Fortunately, my kids are not afflicted with my penchant for material acquisition. Everything from birthday cards to articles of clothing are tossed without a thought to sentimental value. I have encouraged them to have a ‘keepsake drawer’ somewhere, but I don’t think the concept is highly subscribed to. (Guilty admission: I sometimes rescue things they have discarded in the hope they will regret their hasty decisions.)

Which brings us to today’s irony.  Kid One, who is in third year of university has an external hard drive for his laptop and now Kid Two, who is in first year wants one for his birthday next week. An external hard drive is the personal storage locker for a new generation. It’s an admission that your massive hard drive is insufficient to store all the bits and bytes you can’t bear to delete. (Geek advisory: You really need to defrag after a major deleting session or you’re no better off.) (Behind the scenes trivia: My spell check doesn’t accept defrag.)

So maybe the apples didn’t fall far from the tree after all. Perhaps hoarding just takes a different form in the digital age. Or perhaps the external unit simply makes good backup sense. (Perhaps I should send them electronic birthday cards.) (Noteworthy: Digital Hoarding would be a great name for a band.) (Additionally: They could perform a song about Dawn and Wayne at church camp.)