Thinking Out Loud

September 16, 2009

What is a “Friend?” — Crossroads / 100 Huntley Street Saga Continues

Over ninety days since this blog decided to go public with information concerning the absence of the regular hosts from Canada’s daily Christian television program; 100 Huntley Street viewers were informed on Monday of the greater details regarding what has taken place.

I have abstained from following the story in greater detail — despite the blog traffic it brought — because I felt it was being better covered at the blog Bene Diction Blogs On.    Though it concerns me that despite direct correspondence off the blog, I still have no idea who Bene Diction is, I refer you to the latest updates on the story here and here or you can simply view for yourself (high speed internet needed) by going to the Crossroads site and watching Monday’s (September 14) program, advancing to the last seven or eight minutes of the program.  Be sure to select the Monday program.

driver2I think, at this point, the story is sufficiently ‘out there’ that there’s nothing left do at this point than wait for the outcome both involving Ronald and Reynold Mainse, and involving Gordon Driver.   However, I want to look a little closer at the statement made by Ron Mainse, “A couple of years ago, I was presented with an investment opportunity by someone I considered to be a close friend.”

An ‘acquaintance,’ obviously.  A ‘neighbor,’ to be sure.  A ‘recent friend,’ is allowable.  A ‘person we knew years ago who reappeared,’ definitely.   But ‘close friend,’ implies a long term connection which would, if entirely true, justify the deception.

ronald mainsePersonally, I doubt if Driver had any contact with the Mainse brothers during those thirty-plus years he was in California.   The original reports said they ‘discovered’ that each other was living in the same neighborhood, something a true friend would already know.

Of course, it simplifies the story, because the fact remains that Driver is “a charmer” who could talk anybody into just about anything.   So perhaps I should give Ron Mainse back some points for trying to put it more concisely.

But the fact remains that ‘close friend’ really puts some spin on this.   We tend to use this word too freely; talking about “our good friend” so-and-so, when in fact they are an online contact we’ve never met in person.

Facebook has confused the whole ‘friend’ issue, also; but in the interest of space I’ll let you consider that for yourself.

The point is that here we have a case of someone who wormed their way into the lives of some people who normally have some built in defenses against “the public,” and who no doubt did indeed reach their ‘inner sanctum.’    Think Bill Murray in the movie What About Bob. The Bob character is clearly just a patient of the psychologist in the story, but to his family, Bob has become family.

Many have the ability, after only a few minutes, to seem like someone you’ve known all your life; while other people you have known all your life can still remain distant.  Also, many people who are in the spotlight — possibly including your pastor — have so many defenses protecting their personal life from their parishioners that many are just dying for someone with whom they can share their lives more deeply.   Who better than a neighbor whose children attend the same schools as your own?

Still, I have people I consider friends, but that doesn’t mean I would trust them with financial matters, or even share personal financial information with them.

And finally of course, there is the obvious:  Friends don’t expose friends to extreme risk and vulnerability.

So Ron Mainse, why not just state it more simply, as in, “We got charmed and conned?”    Let’s not cheapen the word ‘friend’ in the process.

Photos – upper: Gordon Driver; lower: Ronald Mainse


  1. A friend is someone who will stand by you through thick and thin.I would say that a pastor could be your friend,or your church family could be your friend.I believe that people should attend a church to make friends and worship the lord.

    Comment by mike42lan — September 16, 2009 @ 9:37 pm

  2. Thanks for the link Paul.

    Comment by Bene D — September 18, 2009 @ 7:38 am

  3. Thanks for the post. Extroverts (maybe Ron is one of them) tend to claim close friendships more readily and with a larger group of people than introverts…I think they see friendship differently than introverts. So…maybe this is a factor in how people view the Driver/Mainse relationship…to Ron it may have felt like a close friendship…whether or not anyone else agreed with him…

    Comment by jodiq — October 14, 2009 @ 9:41 am

    • Very interesting insight re. extroverts and I would say probably totally applicable in this case. Thanks for commenting.

      Comment by paulthinkingoutloud — October 14, 2009 @ 10:12 am

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