|Choosing Your Sexual Preference in the 21st Century
Dan: Hey, whaddya say you, me, Pamela and her sister go on a double date tonight?
Don: C’mon, eh; you know I’m gay.
Dan: Know what? I didn’t know any such thing. How did you decide you were gay?
Don: I wasn’t sure, so I took a survey online.
Dan: Okay… By any chance did the survey have ten questions?
Don: Yeah! How did you know?
Dan: Everybody knows that survey. It asks some dumb questions, and then, no matter what answers you give, it says, ‘You are definitely gay.’
Don: It doesn’t matter?
Dan: Not at all. Actually, they took that site down about a month ago. When did you do the survey?
Don: Over two years ago.
Dan: [long silence] Oh, my.
Don: [longer silence]
In a world where psychologists would have us believe that being gay is a matter of genetic predisposition, in many cases, it’s actually the product of much more random factors.
I’ve developed this idea more fully in things I’ve posted to other blogs, but you can read the original germ of the idea in a chapter of my book, The Pornography Effect. (Click the header when the chapter appears if you want to read the whole thing from beginning to end; it takes only 45 minutes.)
If you’re reading this, and you believe you are same sex attracted, consider the possibility that we all start out somewhat asexual (not bisexual) and that preferences are formed as a result of “who gets to us first.” I’m not trying to undermine what you believe you are, or try to preach to you about what you could be; I’m simply asking you to think back and reconsider what might have been. I’m just wanting to ask the question, “Is it possible that more random factors were at work? That some early sexual fulfillment was used as the basis as for a broader statement as to who you are?”