Thinking Out Loud

May 16, 2009

Church Community Versus Christian Blogging Community

If your background is mainline

At a certain part of the service there is a time set aside for “the passing of the peace.”   You greet one another with a hug or a handshake (or in a few places, a “holy” kiss) and say, “The peace of Christ,” or “The peace of Christ be with you.”  In reply the other might say the same, or say, “And to you also;” or “And to you also, the peace of Christ.”   If the church is smaller, you know these people, at least by name, but if it’s larger or it’s tourist season, you may not know them at all.

After the service there is a time when coffee and juice is served and you can engage people conversationally for about five minutes; usually people you already know.    For an extended time like this, don’t miss the pancake breakfast and the strawberry tea held each year.

To get to know people a little deeper, or other people, you can join the choir, or volunteer for a host of guilds or committees that are always in need of help.    You’ll also find a lot of the same people serve on civic projects and thereby will run into them in other contexts outside of the church itself.   Don’t expect to break into the core community until you’re a “regular,” which occurs after you’ve attended and been involved for a gazillion years.

If your background is Evangelical

At a certain part of the service there is a time set aside for “greeting” or it may be formalized as “the ritual of friendship.”   You greet one another with a hug or a handshake and say, “Good Morning;” or “Did you happen to catch the game yesterday?”  In reply the other might say the same, or say, “Is that a new car I saw in the parking lot?”  If the church is smaller, you might know these people, at least by name, or if it’s a mid-sized church, you can look them up in the photo directory when you get home.

After the service there is a time when coffee and juice is served and you can engage people conversationally for about five minutes; usually people you already know.    For an extended time like this, don’t miss the annual potluck lunch and the annual bowling night.

To get to know people a little deeper, there isn’t a lot to volunteer for, since everything is done by the paid staff.  The mens’ and womens’ retreats would help, but that’s $120 and $130 respectively.    Better to join a small group.  That way you’ll get to spend time in at least one person’s house each week, and get to know them and about four other families (or eight other singles) more intimately.

If your option is blogging community

There is a possibility that there will be people in your fellowship who you do not have any idea what they look like, or exactly where they live.   However,  you don’t have to wait for an opportunity to engage conversationally.   Those opportunities occur at any time and may produce a variety of responses from a variety of people.

Through those conversations you will learn about their likes and dislikes, events in the life of their family, where they stand on a variety of issues, and what challenges and needs they face.    You’ll possibly learn the names of — or see pictures of — their kids or their parents, be given insights into their job, and you’ll almost certainly know a little about every book they’ve read since they started blogging.     And they’ll know the same about you.

You may find very quickly that their prayer requests become your prayer requests; you feel drawn to the needs of these people as one might with someone in their church family.   If Twitter enters into the picture, you’ll know even more about their daily routine, the various thoughts and challenges that burst into the brain brought about by various stimuli.   And if you Twitter, they’ll have that input from you also.

Plus, they will introduce you to their online friends, and you might pick a few of those to subscribe to or at least bookmark, and over time, perhaps their friends will become your friends also.    It’s not unusual to pick up e-mail addresses from comments you’ve received and send out some off-the-blog messages.   (In fact, two weeks ago, I sent out about 60 such e-mails about a project I wanted to get going that needed an off-the-blog start-up.)

Finally, if you want to get really hardcore, you might find yourself contemplating attending a bloggers event which sometimes take place in conjunction with other events, and at other times are stand-alone events.   Not because online fellowship is insufficient, but simply because the relationships are already well established.   (And nobody’s pretending to be a 17-year old girl from Ohio; at least I hope not!)

So at the end of the day, online community isn’t better or worse than Sunday church fellowship; it’s just different. And I would argue it’s a good different. One can’t entirely substitute for the other, and hopefully people using online community as a surrogate for a physical community that is currently absent from their life would, over time, find themselves drawn back to something resembling a church or house church; and then maintain a balance between the two relational paradigms.

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8 Comments »

  1. When you wrote of the blog community I totally related. I like it as these people dialogue and debate with me with no barrier of age or income level or physical traits.

    I hate/loathe/despise the meet and greet time every Sunday morning. My husband and I greet the people next to us and then usually sit down. It feels forced and artificial. They don’t really want to know how we are doing. They were just told to ask us.

    Thanks for the post

    Comment by Cynthia — May 16, 2009 @ 9:20 pm

  2. Terrific picture, especially showing how online community isn’t fake or shallow! There is no substitute for face-to-face interaction, but I wonder, what might each style of community learn from the other two?

    Comment by Jon Reid — May 16, 2009 @ 9:55 pm

  3. Thanks Paul. Interesting stuff here.

    Comment by Rick Apperson — May 17, 2009 @ 9:38 am

  4. I’m not sure about the on-line community not being fake or shallow. How do you really know? The thing about the internet, emails and blogging, is that in actual fact you can be anyone you want to be and no-one really knows if they are ever ‘seeing’ the real you.

    Also, I’ve heard it said (blogged too!), that those of us who opt for the on-line community are probably ‘social misfits’ in the real world. It might be interesting to have dialogue about that!!

    Comment by kaybee — May 17, 2009 @ 3:01 pm

    • Kaybee,

      Good point. I’m sure there is as much posturing done online as is done in Church on Sundays. I know I’ve put things up online that are very honest, even though they don’t cast me as a saint! The more a person types, the more they reveal, so it’s hard to sustain a fake persona over any length of time.

      As to your 2nd paragraph, blogging is pretty mainstream, be it Christian or otherwise, so if that’s the case there’s a lot of social misfits in the Christian world. Then again, we know that we are the “community of the broken,” so maybe we are all misfits.

      Cynthia, Jon, and Rick;

      Thanks for your comments, also.

      Comment by paulthinkingoutloud — May 17, 2009 @ 6:38 pm

  5. Why are women’s retreats more expensive than men’s retreats?

    Comment by Joel — May 17, 2009 @ 10:41 pm

  6. Hi Paul,

    Some interesting thoughts.

    Most I agree with except one:

    “To get to know people a little deeper, there isn’t a lot to volunteer for, since everything is done by the paid staff.”

    Are you kidding me? I have been part of well over a dozen evangelical churches over the years, and visited many, many more, and this has never been the case. Rather I have found a shortage of volunteers to be a problem. Out church of about 200 (slightly larger than the average evangelical church) has three paid staff (Two pastors and a secretary), and probably 50 volunteers.

    Comment by Eclectic Christian - Michael Bell — May 17, 2009 @ 10:47 pm

    • The comment was meant to stand in contrast to mainline churches, and also to poke fun at the situation whereby, during the 1990s, some churches started going mad hiring people for jobs that had heretofore been done by volunteers. It also reflects the attitude whereby people think the church has money and if they’re using their trade or skill, they should be paid.

      Currently there is a shortage a volunteers. Where I live it’s particularly in youth and children’s ministry, where people aren’t willing to take the 15 minutes at $15 necessary to have a police background check done. (Or they think the church should pay the $15!) I’ve blogged on this either here or one of my other blogs.

      But the number of service opportunities in an Anglican church for example is ten times greater where I live than in the busiest evangelical church.

      Comment by paulthinkingoutloud — May 18, 2009 @ 9:02 am


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