Thinking Out Loud

January 12, 2009

His Needs, Her Needs

Filed under: Christianity, family, marriage — Tags: , , , , , — paulthinkingoutloud @ 9:54 pm

Trey Morgan succinctly blogged the contrast between “his” needs and “her” needs this week.   Check out his blog regularly at TreyMorgan.Net …

Willard Harley in his book “His Needs Her Needs” lists what he believes are the top 5 needs for Husbands and the top 5 needs for Wives. (You can find more on these lists here.)
.
his-needs-her-needsHusbands Top Needs…
1. Sexual Fulfillment
2. Recreational Companionship
3. Physical Attractiveness of Spouse
4. Domestic Support
5. Admiration
.
Wives Top Needs…
1. Affection
2. Communication
3. Honesty and Openness
4. Financial Support
5. Family Commitment
.
Lea and I have taught a “His Needs Her Needs” marriage class or read the book multiple times and have found that for the most part, these lists are right on. One thing we’ve noticed personally is that our needs change from time to time. One time while doing the Bible study (or reading the book) our needs will be ranked one way, and the following time they’ll be completely different. That tells me that there has GOT to be good communication in marriage to talk to our spouse about our needs. If I don’t tell my spouse my needs, she might never know them. And I need to ask my spouse regularly, “What are your needs and how am I doing meeting them?”

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