Alicia Yost from America’s Next Top Mommy guested at Stuff Christians Like recently, and the results are hilarious. Well, actually it gets serious. And then it gets rather applicable. You get a few paragraphs to get you started, and then you click, okay?
I once went to a church where a woman, a self-confirmed prayer expert, called another woman out on the way she prayed.
“I say this in love, but you are praying incorrectly. You can’t just talk and not address your heavenly father by name. You must say, ‘Lord’ and then follow it up with your request. I wouldn’t want your prayers to go unanswered.”
The woman who’d been called out went red in the face because, you see, this had been pointed out during a prayer group and now everyone was staring at her. She started to cry.
“I’m just trying to be helpful. There is a right way and a wrong way to pray,” said the expert.
I didn’t see what the woman had done wrong. I usually pray the exact same way she had, but apparently we’ve both been doing it all wrong. Obviously, God is very picky when you dial his number. You must include a prefix code of “thou” or “Lord”. If you don’t, he will assume you are a crank call and hang up in your ear and then screen your calls.