Thinking Out Loud

October 21, 2011

Friday Fun: The Likeable Bible

What if every time you were reading your Bible you could click “like” next to verses that were especially meaningful?  Or especially likeable?  Apparently someone has been clicking something, because lo and behold, we have the website, The Likeable Bible.

At his blog, Big Ear Creations, Dave Carrol decided to have some fun doing analysis on the top ten:  (It’s considered proper to link at this point, but some of you don’t, so…)

There’s a fascinating site called “The Likeable Bible” that breaks the Bible down verse by verse, and asks people to ‘like’ the individual verses they like the most.

Let’s look at the current Top Ten and see if we can cast vast non-contextual, overblown, sarcastic generalizations and semi-baseless assumptions about what it says about people.
#1 and #2 (The boozy verses)

Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Proverbs 31:6

Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.
Proverbs 31:7

What it says: Well… people like their drinkin clearly. I actually love these verses too. They make the conservative squirmy. Of course it does say right before that it’s not for Kings and rulers to crave it… so maybe all those sad sack country songs about friends in low places drinkin whiskey resonate with the facebooking masses.

#3 (The Beginning)

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. Genesis 1:1

What it says: It means that people wound rather get in arguments about dinosaurs, gardens and strategically placed fig leaves than the publicly espouse the deity of Christ. Ooooo…

#4 (The Commandments)

Thou shalt not kill. Exodus 20:13

What is says: It means that people are still trying to avoid thinking about those whole coveting the neighbor and pesky Sabbath ones.

#5 #8 #10 – (The Novelty Verses)

And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them. 2 Kings 2:24

Do not prostitute thy daughter, to cause her to be a whore; lest the land fall to whoredom, and the land become full of wickedness. Leviticus 19:29

But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence 1 Timothy 2:12

What is says: Bear maulings, whores and silencing women. Gotta love the Bible. It says that there are lots of former Sunday School boys who amused themselves by trying to make their friends laugh by passing the funny scriptures around while a lady in a Hawaiian shirt put on a puppet/felt board combo show… on Facebook. I’m personally very disappointed that Ezekiel 23:20 is not there though. That’s what I “Liked”

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

Best… verse… ever
#6 (Anger at the rich)

And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. Matthew 19:24

What it says: People love this one. Mostly because 70% of our culture has no liquid money and are drowning in debt and revel in seeing a rich guy is get burned. Schadenfreude. Yep. That’s why people like it so much. Of course they often forget the poor widow that Jesus lauded gave MOST of her earthly possession and wealth so… easy treading there plankeye.

#7 (The Slam Dunk)

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

What is says: It says that people only really know a couple of Bible verses… and this is one of them.
#9 (The Tats)

Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD. Leviticus 19:28

What it says: It says that the namesake “Mothers” whose son’s chose to honor with ink on their upper arm… didn’t find it quite so touching.

BONUS #11 (Fruity Sex)

Strengthen me with raisins,refresh me with apples,for I am faint with love. Song of Solomon 2:5

What it says: I don’t know why fruit was such a big part of Bible sex… but it looks like I’m not the only who curious about it. Where do you put the raisins?

~Dave Carrol

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1 Comment »

  1. Good verses brother! I must say that I like your sense of humor commentary!!! lol

    Comment by Carol — November 11, 2012 @ 8:33 pm


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