Thinking Out Loud

December 19, 2009

If Target Operated Like a Church

Filed under: Church, Humor — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — paulthinkingoutloud @ 6:38 pm

I was going to save this for the next link list, but it’s too good not to reprint here in full.   This is from Tony Morgan Live, which you’ll have to visit anyway, because the comments are too good to miss.   [Canadian readers: Target = Zellers]



‘Tis the season to shop for Christmas gifts, so I recently made a trip to Target. I love Target because I don’t have to spend a lot of money, and I avoid going to Wal-Mart.

After spending a little bit of time in the store, it struck me how different Target is from most churches I’ve visited in the past. That led me to wondering how Target would be different if it operated like the typical church. So, with that in mind, here’s my initial list:

What if Target Operated Like a Church?

  • Instead of having men’s and women’s clothing departments, they would be called clever names like Impact and Embrace that are completely meaningless to new shoppers.
  • Each department in the store would have its own logo to go with their clever name. And, of course, all those logos would be different than the logo on the front of the store.
  • The workers in each department would all have their own t-shirts and flyers to promote what’s available in their departments. The youth clothing department would, of course, have the best flyers.
  • The store manager and his wife would be pictured on the front page of the website.
  • You wouldn’t actually be able to buy anything from the website, but each department would have its own page explaining why they are such a great department and the the information would be several months out-of-date.
  • If you are in the shoe department and have a question about flashlights, the shoe department employee has no idea how to help you because it doesn’t have anything to do with shoes.
  • Shoppers would be able to start their own departments so that they can buy the items that they want to buy. Don’t worry…that means there will certainly be a clothing department for singles.
  • Shoppers would also be able to appoint their own store manager and then serve on committees and boards to tell the store manager what to do.
  • The store would only be open one day a week between 9:00 a.m. and noon and on the first Wednesday evening of every month.

Hope this makes you laugh. (Emily and I did.) And, maybe it also challenges some preconceived notions. After all, churches are sort of notorious for worshiping methods and traditions whether or not they actually produce results.

What would you add to the list?

~Tony Morgan

I’ve closed off comments on this one so you can add your comments directly on Tony’s blog.

About these ads

The Silver is the New Black Theme. Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: